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Posts Tagged ‘sorority’

slip-and-fall-3N Allow me to set the scene: It’s the Spring of 2003. As a freshman, and newly initiated sister of Delta Gamma, I pretty much feel as though I have the world by the ass. I found myself proudly walking to class with my DG letter bag and actually saw people take notice of me—basically, I was the shit (Or so I thought).

Whenever a social event would take place, I was ALL over it. Getting ready with my best friends quickly became a rite of passage: we would collect our favorite clothes and meet in a dorm room and rifle through everything to come up with the sweetest outfits. This particular night, we were all going to a party at one of the fraternity houses so we had to look great. Keeping in mind this is 2003, we were most likely rocking the newest peasant shirt or a bitchin’ pair of gaucho pants (Cara). Once we had our look together, we’d trudge up the hill to the house, walk through the back door and into the basement where naked bar-slides were taking place right before our very eyes. Male pledges in white shirts and ties were getting our drinks and we were living the dream.

After hours of beer pong and the occasional pitcher dance, we were all about ready to call it a night. At this point, the floor of the fraternity house was littered with cigarette butts and God knows what the hell else, but, I can safely say the floor was COVERED in spilled beer. This I know for sure.  I wouldn’t exactly call myself a detective, but when you’re wading in a 1/4″ of Natty Lite, you know it.

The girls and I grabbed our coats and started to walk towards the door when the unthinkable happened. I slipped on the beer and fell. Hard. This CANNOT be happening. I’ve seen this happen to people: tripping and falling down an entire flight of stairs or missing a step and falling flat on their faces. This only happens to randoms, to the girl in the ugly shirt, to people on American’s funniest home videos… CERTAINLY not to someone as cool as me.

False.  It happens to everyone, and it happened to me. At the worst possible time.


I’m on the floor, waiting for my friends, a brother, a pledge, ANYONE to help me up. No one does. Instead, all I can hear is laughter…and I’m not talking chuckles, I’m talking guttural scream laughter that seems to continue to get louder. Its official, I want to die. I quickly collect myself and start cursing the Gap flip-flops with the worn out tread I was wearing, while doing everything humanly possible not to start crying right on the spot. Being unsure if the humiliation or the excruciating pain in my arm was worse, I try my damndest to make light of the situation. Luckily, one of the brothers of the house felt bad for me and ordered one of the pledges to walk my friends and I home and to report back to him on my progress.

Long story short: I broke my arm and had a cast. NEAT. No, I didn’t let anyone sign it.
Why is it human nature to laugh when someone gets hurt? Don’t get me wrong, I let out a good LOL a few weeks ago when my roommate came home from coaching field hockey with a soft cast because she, too, had broken her arm. BUT, why is that funny? It’s not. Are we victims of nervous laughter? Are we thanking God we weren’t that poor soul that just publically embarrassed him/herself?

I’ve also noticed that the older you get, the less laughter erupts when you fall.  The Caus said it best:

“If you fall and people are concerned, you’re old…or really fat.”

Anyway you look at it, we, as humans, are assholes.

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