Posts Tagged ‘Myspace’

It is to be said that I am a social media addict, ostensibly so.  I have also (briefly) relocated from the sunny rays of Colorado back to the wet, damp, snow-laden  winter wonderland snowgasm hell from which my closest loved ones and relatives reside.  This ungodly amount of precipitation has afforded me much more time indoors to run on the treadmill, watch Californication on my Macbook and yes, spend a lot of time on Facebook.

After the (somewhat) successful secret bra color status trend that hit Facebook a few months ago, it’s become apparent that the newest and greatest foray into active Facebooking is now community participation.  (BTW, the bra color update was only funny for a minute based upon the sheer pandemonium it caused men for those terrifying 20 minutes that they were unsure of).  Whether it be spiteful, hateful, humorous or inspiring, it seems that social media in all of its widget glory is still a touch alienating and community Facebook goals are the water cooler talk for 2010.  I am ok with this because it diverts people from Farmville and Mafia Wars which are soooooooooo 2009.

Some of the newest trends include the aforementioned bra color, the Doppelganger  “week” which actually seemed to drag out like a bad high school reunion and my NEW FAVORITE ONE : “can we make [inanimate object A] more popular than [pop culture ‘icon’ B].”   The basic premise is to find out how many fans a particular ‘celebrity’ has and try to “outfan” this person(s) with an everyday object, based on its  everlasting qualities such as taste, color or general awesomeness.  Some examples include “Can we make this pickle more popular than Nickelback” or “Please make these curly fries more popular than Lady Gaga.”  It’d be an impressive commentary on celebrity gluttony if the same people who joined these groups weren’t the same people who spend all day on US Magazine message boards, myself included.

In light of this new sense of community, I’d like to recommend some collaborative Facebook activities that I’ve thought a lot about just at this moment. right. now.

Who I’d like to punch: Why put up a picture of who you “look like” when you can let the world know who you’d like to smash in the face.  I think this is a nice one because while your balding, mid-20s friend probably does not look that much like his “doppelgänger” Taylor Lautner, it’s much more realistic to assume that one day you may get to punch him in the face for repeatedly saying that he looks like Taylor Lautner.  In fact, placing his picture up as yours for an ENTIRE WEEK on Facebook (which is equal to 5 light years) sends a clear message that, “Hey buddy, if you don’t stop saying that you look like the guy from Twilight, you will get a knuckle sandwich, sooner than later.”  It’s succinct, and let’s face it, hilarious.  I recommend choosing a picture that makes other people want to punch this person as well, such as when he has a popped collar, is throwing up a gang sign or is shirtless in an inappropriate place.  Girls, this is equal to when another chick is : making a duck face, wearing a tiara or throwing up the standard sorority peace sign.

Addendum: Other suggestions include “the girlfriend/boyfriend of a friend I’d like to sleep with,”  “the person I know with the worst hygiene,” and “a person I would probably turn in to the cops.”

The age when I first…  : This one is not for the faint of heart, but based upon the question allows you to gauge how much of a A)Slut  B) Prude C) Nerd D)Moron you are compared to the rest of your Facebook Universe.  Some examples could be : The age when I first…”realized I loved drinking,”  “was arrested,” “wanted to hang myself at an office going away party” and, “bought my own weed” etc.  The reason I like this one is because there’s so much crossover in Facebook no one really knows what anyone is talking about.  You may put the status update of “13,” signifying the first time you felt grown up but your mom may assume that means “the first time I lost my virginity” which was another little status trend happening simultaneously.  Awkward hilarity ensues.

At will statuses: This is good for anyone who clearly has nothing better going on (myself at the moment) and justifies letting the entire world know that “Arrested Development is the best show EVER” or that “Milano cookies are still good even though I am 26.”  (I agree with those both of those statements, btw).  The idea is simple:  pick two equally awkward choices such as “For my next status update would you rather have me write my worst opposite sex story or would you like me to post my worst grade school picture,”  allow one day of voting, and then once the people have spoken, honor their choice.  If anything, it’s way more interesting to read a litany of bad naked stories than 45 updates about how the last season of Lost is going to rock so and so’s face off.  Plus, you get to see how big of jerkoffs your friends really are.

If we want to look at this with any type of perspective, I guess we could say that 1) Facebook really beat the hell out of Myspace and 2) The power of social media is dense and can just as likely be used to garner hope and inspiration for worthwhile causes in forthcoming months and years.

I, however, prefer to look at it from the standpoint that thanks to active participation, your parents and (gasp! grandparents) are getting first-rate Facebook army training and becoming social media soldiers that will soon know how to look at every picture, status update and inappropriate message you receive.  My advice?  If you can’t beat ’em, drink up and join em.

Hi Mom and Dad : )



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