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Posts Tagged ‘games’

farmvilleI’ll start this post by saying I think social media is important.  It’s influential, unlimited and clearly brings some good with it- – how else would you find your 5th grade sweetheart, and whoa! You both live in Scottsdale now and love a good strong martini! 

That being said, enough with the fucking Farmville and Mafia Wars.

I knew Facebook had hit its stride when my lovely, but technology limited mother was asking me to help her edit her profile over last Christmas.  Like a southern California wildfire it spread and soon I was talking to aunts, uncles and asking my distant cousin Kelly to send me her BBM pin so we could chat during the day.  Even myspace (in its own way) bowed down to the dominance of FB.

College kids have known about this for a few years now, mostly when it was a collage of drunken not for parents pics and a long standing contest for who had the best I drank Patron and slept with the quiet girl from the library status.

And yet, those things I can handle.  I’m ok with the picture sharing, the beg for sympathy ambiguous statuses (“never thought you would do this to me. ugh, wish this day was over”) and even the silliness of becoming a “fan” of Special K cereal. I’d be a huge liar and called out immediately if I didn’t admit to actively participating in these things.   But Farmville and Yoville and Mafia Wars and Cafeteria Wars and whatever else kind of wars or villes or battles?  No thanks.

At first I was intrigued, but I held off.  Facebook is fun- but it’s not Nintendo Wii.  There’s no active involvement or range of motion.  But last night I succumbed to the power of the book..and you know what?  The negative nellies are right.  It is fucking stupid.

Do you want to know how to buy some eggplant for your farm?  You click on an icon that says “buy.”  But what if you need to till your land and plant that eggplant?  Well baby birds, let me feed you:  you click on the till, click on the land, then click on it again to do the aforementioned.  Click, click, click, click.  Same thing with mafia wars: Click to rough a guy up! Click to steal an eightball of coke! Click, click, click!

What happens if you can’t afford to do these activities?  Don’t worry, you can use a REAL debit or credit card to buy tokens for a fake game which never amounts to anything (“Sorry, I can’t go out to dinner tonight guys” Why? “Well I’m busy playing facebook games and ironically I’m broke from playing them too”).

My estimate is that its popularity lies in a valid excuse to log on again.  We just cyber stalked for an hour, but damn it! We forgot to to ask 17 people if they want to join our crew so that we can be a level 75 team godfather!  In my opinion it’s the easiest way to annoy the 450 ‘friends’ you worked so hard to collect. 

 When your boss is yawning because she was up till 3am clicking her way through the ghetto, and your friend wants to know why you didn’t return the favor and gift her a magnolia tree for her homestead, we’ve got an issue.  I’m all for downtown, lazy Sunday-esque behavior, but lets make it a little more constructive and results driven, you know, like off-shore betting and googling your exes’ new girlfriend.

The really wise Caus put it in incredibly user-friendly vernacular and dropped it  in my Gmail inbox this morning:

 You’re better than that.  facebook is for statuses, picture, wall posts and communicating.  NOT FOR GAY Asz FARMVILLE.

And yeh, the above picture is from my own sad little farm.  Which I’m deleting.  Right. After. This. Post.

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