Posts Tagged ‘friends’

first_cut_karaoke_soul_000_001_001_001Karaoke is one of the most fascinating and fun aspects of bar culture – period.  If one is fortunate enough to find him or herself in a truly welcoming and supportive karaoke environment, their entire perspective on life could be changed for the better!  These types of events provide a unique outlet for the less inhibited of us to get on stage and do something we can usually only do in our showers.  For those on the reserved side of the personality spectrum, with the support of friends and strangers alike, it’s a great chance to step out of one’s shell and find a new comfort zone.  Win-win!

Granted, there will always be the “performers” who are truly untalented and utterly hopeless, but, for better or worse, they get on the stage and for four minutes they get their chance to be the center of attention and have a little fun at their own expense.  No harm there, just good ol’ fashioned fun shared among multiple groups of friends with one common attribute – they’re all there to have a good time, get ninja drunk and sing!

However, not everyone is there to lend moral support and a hearty round of applause to those taking the stage; these are people I like to call “the judges”.  The judges are very easy to spot – they’re the (typically) female patrons who sit at the table, look around with a bored expression on their faces and judge each person who goes up there because they, obviously, aren’t as cool as them.  I mean, how can anybody who goes up on stage and talentlessly sings Piano Man, Friends in Low Places or even (my personal favorite) Ballroom Blitz be as cool as the person sitting there completely unengaged and totally judgmental??  I’ll tell you how – because they know how to have a good time and throw caution to the wind.  These are the folks who don’t g.a.f. what anyone thinks, as long as they and their group are having a good time out doing what they enjoy.

karaoke yo

Now, I have had my good and bad performances on the karaoke main stage a number of times, as I frequent karaoke joints on a pretty regular basis.  However, I only go with others who share my love of the genre and its transcendental attributes.  But what really gets me about the people who hate karaoke and think it’s the douchiest thing since Nixon is the fact that, inevitably, they still go!  NEWSFLASH COOL KIDS – you might not like karaoke, but we don’t like you being there even more so!  You’re a bigger buzz kill than Santa with cancer – FACT.  You don’t want to hear Sweet Caroline?  AWESOME – go to the bar down the street and leave the rest of us the hell alone… because when it’s all said and done and karaoke is over, regardless of how much fun you didn’t have, everybody else had a great time getting too drunk and singing along to the crowd favorites.  When there are fifty people in a room singing on stage and having a blast of a Saturday night, and four people having a shitty time sitting in the crowd making witty sarcastic jokes about the people on stage, it’s pretty easy to figure out who the assholes in the room are.

There’s a reason every city in every state on any given day has karaoke – it’s a good time for people who want to have a good time.  So the next time you walk by a karaoke bar and some “slut” (who is only a slut because you don’t know her) is on stage singing Spice Girls with her besties and you turn your nose up at how laaaaaaame they all are, think about what you’re judging people on – them having a good time doing what they like to do, their not being as cool as you – obviously.  Get over it. 

And yes, for those of you who hate karaoke but have never done it, it’s not because you hate it so much, it’s because you don’t have any balls  and hide behind a veil of snobbery and elitism as poor excuses for why you’re above such a good time.


Caus out.


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It was only a matter of time before I posted something about the love of my life: My little, 10 month old puggle, Eva La Rue Hargest. This small bundle of love was purchased for me by my then-boyfriend as a Valentine’s Day present, and, she is arguably the best gift I’ve ever received.  I won’t lie and say that everything associated with having a puppy is great and fun, she’s certainly destroyed her fair share of items throughout my apartment, but she’s been the best example of unconditional love that I’ve CHOSEN to allow into my life. (Clearly family is the GREATEST example of unconditional love, however let’s be honest, you don’t get to pick them!)

As time went on, she started resembling a dog, rather than a large headed alien, which was exciting!  I imagine it’s the same type of feeling a mother has when her baby starts walking and talking and is no longer a muted houseplant.   However what wasn’t exciting was that the relationship with the puppy gift-giver was taking a quick nose dive. I would call my friends, mother, seeeeesteR*, and co-workers searching for a shoulder to cry on, and they all graciously agreed to be that shoulder for me. I would call them at all hours of the day and night, crying my eyes out and listening to their past experiences to try to make sense of the whole mess. To them, I am eternally grateful. BUT, I found comfort in the most unsuspecting of creatures, my tiny ball of fur, which I have affectionately nicknamed “Stinkus” ❤ .

That dog would see me crying and immediately jump on my lap and sleep. If I was in bed at 7:30 on a Saturday, so was she. If I was up at 1:30 in the morning with Skelladay or Lish, she was sitting next to me, gnawing on her favorite pig ear.

I never understood when Lish would tell me that her puppy Oliver was a huge comfort to her when she was taking on her own personal downward spiral into man-hell. It’s true. Animals can sense things that require no form of verbal communication. Without the guidance and love given to me by humans in my life coupled with a warm canine sleeping under the covers with me, I’m not sure where I’d be. Actually, I take that back…I know EXACTLY where I’d be…miserable and in a constant state of puffy-eyes from crying.

Carrie Bradshaw said it best: “No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.”

This brings us to the present day. Happy as a little clam and with the ability to look back on my failed relationships with love rather than hate, which I honestly feel is the hardest thing to achieve. I’ve ALLOWED myself to put things into perspective and realize who is important in my life: family, friends, and Eva…equally. Now that I was able to see exactly who was there for me during my lowest moment, I decided  that from this point forward, if any of my loved ones become compromised because of a relationship, that unlucky man will be immediately shown the door.

Lucky for them, my family doesn’t live in Pittsburgh, and Lish and Skelladay live on opposite sides of the country, so the only one they need to impress is my little Evaboo J

Disclaimer, Gentlemen beware: If you so much as look at my dog the wrong way, you WILL be sorry. If you make any snide remarks about how she just peed in the house, I will kindly remind you that at one point in your college life, YOU have peed in your house. And God forbid you lay a hand on her, you will receive a new asshole courtesy of Hargusta herself.




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01346To casually mention that, in fact, “2009 sucked” is pretty much the “No-Shit” statement of the century- kinda like saying Jon Gosselin is a douchebag or the show Community is a waste of Chevy Chase’s time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the only good things that have happened to me this year were getting my little Eva and Obama being inaugurated.  Granted, a puggle and a black president are significant, but I can’t really claim the responsibility for their success…well, maybe Eva’s (she’s such a good dog!)

Other than that, 2009 has been a complete wash. Celebrities are dropping like flies and everyone I know is breaking up.

It’s no shock to anyone that my most recent break-up was moderately devastating, to say the least. I spent entirely too many nights alone with my dog watching Hitch and trying to figure out what I could’ve done differently to salvage this extremely dysfunctional relationship. Sure, I called my friends and family crying, and each person provided a different means of comfort. Skelladay would listen to me and chime in with advice when I asked, The Caus would offer to take me out for burritos and my brothers offered to get me drunk at tailgates.

Despite counsel, delicious chicken burritos and the promise of liquor ice luges at sporting events, one thing remained the same throughout all my heartfelt cry-fests with my loved ones…everyone asked the same thing: “What did you even see in him?”

It actually struck me as somewhat bothersome. WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU PEOPLE THE ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF WE DATED? Your comments were peppered with “Wow! What a catch!” or “You really found yourself a keeper” when, in fact, you were all thinking “What a douchebag prick…I give them 2 years, tops…and that includes several well-crafted ‘timeouts’ .”   It’s nice to have the support, but next time I walk the plank, tell me there are sharks in the water, mmmkay?

It’s amazing the thoughts that run through your head after you’ve given yourself the opportunity to step back and evaluate the situation for what it really is: a learning experience.  Nothing more, nothing less.  People that say everything happens for a reason can screenprint it on an American Apparel T-shirt and tell it to Delilah.

You begin to notice that all their cute and charming habits are nothing more than obnoxious and irritating.  The word endearing is quickly search and replaced with the word scathing.  You actually find yourself joining in with your friends during their manbashing sessions and start to throw in your own terrible experiences.  When you start taking punches at the one who sleeps in your bed?  Time to hang up the gloves and put on VH1. 

I believe Sex and the City’s Charlotte York said it best: “I’ve been dating since I was 15, I’m exhausted where is he?!”  

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a free burrito coupon I need to use before it expires.




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