We’ve all been there. You’re dating your significant other and WHAM! they inform you they want to take “time”/”a break”/”some space.” Generally, this blindsides you and you’re left with an overall feeling of complete shittiness. Why does your boyfriend/girlfriend choose these cute, harmless sounding terms when, in fact, they should just say what they mean: THEY DON’T FREAKIN WANT YOU ANYMORE. This situation plays out the exact same way for everyone: You agree to this “break,” you both start thinking of ways to rectify the situation and you get back together two weeks later. Everything is sunshine and rainbows…at first. Then your boyfriend jumps right back into being a heinous prick and you’re right on his tail, making the same rancid bitch statements that put you where you started.
Instead of calling this a “break,” I suggest you each start using the phrase Mama Hargusta and I have been using for years: RESURRECTING THE DEAD. It has become clear to me in my short, 25 years of life that humans are suckers for punishment. Rather than thinking about all the reasons the relationship didn’t work, we focus on the rare instances of sheer happiness and are determined to recreate this gleeful time. DOESN’T WORK HOMEY.
Within the past few months, many of my evenings have been lent to a dear friend (Who shall remain nameless) that has been relentlessly trying to resurrect her EXTREMELY dead relationship. Each time she would call me and say they “broke up again.” I knew in the back of my head that they would get back together eventually, only to find themselves in the exact same predicament a few weeks later. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all passing judgment, especially since I’ve done this in every.single.one. of my relationships. Hindsight is 20/20 and the best advice to take is your own, although NONE of us ever do. If people listened to their instincts there’d be no need for people like Dr. Phil and Kate Gosselin wouldn’t have gotten that heinous haircut.
Why put yourself through the misery? Why fill yourself with a false sense of hope that everything will work out in your favor and you and your man will ride horseback into the sunset? This doesn’t happen to anyone and you and I both know it. I’m unclear as to why people think that when two people break up, something horrific has happened that left them with no choice but to Ctrl+Alt+Delete the other from his/her life. In my most recent break up, nothing traumatizing happened. No name calling. No cheating. It just didn’t work. Unfortunately, sometimes love ISN’T enough and that’s something we ALL need to accept.
Whenever I was upset about a recent ex, Mama Hargusta would tell me that “there is someone out there specifically looking for YOU and he’ll find you.” As much as I’d like to say my mother has no idea what she’s talking about, she does! It’s best to figure out all this horseshit before you’re married with two kids, ladies!
If you find yourself in a situation where your boyfriend/girlfriend is telling you they “need some time,” be like Jay-Z and dust your shoulders off, run for the hills, and take comfort in knowing you dodged a HUGE bullet and saved yourself from days/weeks/months of unhappiness. If that doesn’t work, just blame it on the economy. That seems to never fail.
Remember girls, let sleeping (dead) dogs lie. Pun intended.
Hugs,
Hargusta
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